The More Things Change

Alarin's picture

Ten points if you understand this punchline.

VonSchtocker was pleased.

Decades ago, he had fled the crumbling Nazi regime to South America. There he had lived in oppulent secrecy ever since, and never once thought back to the filthy American mutts that had cost the Master Race its ultimate victory.

But they found him. Those ingenious bastards had managed to track him down after all these years, and sent Rangers wearing strange suits of battle-armor to bring him in. Even so, they had not counted on his new ... condition. Soon after arriving in South America, he had met an enchanting and deadly woman who gave him a gift of immortality - had made him into a powerful and unnatural creature of the night. VonSchtocker had become a vampire. Now he had his would-be captors surrounded in his inner courtyard, surrounded by scores of his undead spawn. He looked down on them with their pitiful guns and useless armor.

"Rangers of the United States Army," he called down to them in his eerie, lightly accented voice. "You are surrounded. Fight, and I will see you all dead in moments, but I can also offer you eternal life and power beyond your wildest dreams if you but surrendur. What is your answer?"

He could tell the Rangers were conversing among themselves over the radios in their helmets. He waited patiently. They might even divide in their choices ... the prospect amused the vampire.

Pity, he thought, as one stepped forward to give an answer for the group. The soldier lifted his visor, revealing the hard eyes and worn, scarred face of a veteran warrior. Even so, he is young, thought VonSchtocker. Soldiers always seemed too young for their trade. The Ranger looked right into the vampire's eyes, and VonSchtocker knew it right away it would be a waste of time to try and conquer this one's strong will. Still, he would die or be reborn like the rest.

But then the Ranger gave the only answer that could have shaken VonSchtocker's confidence, could have give him pause ... an answer he had heard before.

"NUTS!"

*****

Give up? Try here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Bulge

World Tag: 
Crossworld

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